Plain But Not Empty
When I started accepting that I can’t own my three precious rings all at the same time anymore, I became happy and contented doing my own stuffs. Dad and I became more intimate and I tend to be closer with my family. I didn’t even mind to bother him when will he give me a new ring, simply because I don’t need it now. My fingers may be plain but I am not empty. Actually, I’m more than complete, having no anxieties and stress for having a ring. I’m just happy playing, cooking, eating ice cream and even sleeping! Life has never been this enjoyable.
But this doesn’t mean that I already forgot my three rings. Those were really special to me, just as I became special to them too. Well, a close friend of mine asked how are the three rings now. He knows my struggles; the let go. I just smile and say, “Maybe they’re in fine conditions.”
How are the three rings now?
I’ll just share each of their conditions now. (according to what I believe)
I’ll start with my toy ring. Oh, my poor toy ring. Where’s my toy ring now? I think that ring has already did its part in my life. Now, after I saw it several years later, it’s lost again… maybe this time, it will be lost forever. I can’t seem to find it. The time when I found it, I tried to wear it but it hurt me even more. I can’t wear it again because my ring finger is bigger now. So I didn’t insist it. Though it’s adjustable, it’s awkward for a young woman like me to wear a toy ring like that. But even it’s now lost in my eyes, the memory of my first ring–my toy ring– will not be lost.
And now, I go to my silver ring.. oh, I’ve never owned that ring. But still on my mind, it’s my silver ring. I loved the authenticity in spite the dusts. I liked the closeness despite the distance. I was never ready to buy it for me. I liked it really though because there was something on it the first time I saw it. Will that ring be recognized? I hope so. Maybe in time. Maybe not. We don’t know. And when I went to the jewelry store to check if it was still there, the lady said someone just bought it a while ago. At first I got sad but later I learned to accept that I can’t have it especially when I’m not ready. But it’s a good thing that the memory of the silver ring gave me a special lesson: that behind its imperfections, I can see a shining silver ring that once put a big smile on my face.
And now, with regards to the golden ring, well, after the debts of our family had been paid, I thought I can have it already. Just when I was about to wear it again, a thought of selling it for the other needs of my family. But it didn’t mean I didn’t like it anymore. It was, for me, the best ring. But as of now, I can’t really have it. For as long as it’s for my family’s welfare, I’m fine with that.
And so I ended up wearing nothing on my finger. I’m more free than before. I got a complete peace of mind. I didn’t have to worry what ring I will choose to wear. It’s better to wear nothing than to make my life so complicated just because of these three. I used to put my emotions on them and end up getting lonely. Now I’ve grown with that. When I let all things fall in their own places and surrendered these emotions of mine, a glow of shining happiness was painted on my heart. There was an absolute peace of mind. I became contented in the present things I have.
I’m happy still eating ice cream with my Daddy. I’m really a Daddy’s girl. He knows my experiences and has been a witness to my growth. He knows when I’m crying. He can distinguish my blues to joy. He’s the one who best knows me in the world! I loved him more for helping me out get over with these three precious ring…
Once upon a time, I had three precious rings that I could not wear all at the same time in my right ring finger. I tried to choose from them, but the uniqueness and importance of each to me became a hindrance to my decision. So I just surrendered them.
My fingers may be plain but I am not empty. 
yamii